Castle Rick Kitten!
by PfelliPfirelli
Summary: Well this takes place after Knockout the season 3 finale. Just read it! and please excuse mistakes English is not my first language! ;   And I haven't finished writing! other chpters will follow i hope you enjoy it! :
1. Chapter 1After the shooting

-Chapter 1-

* * *

><p>Tears floating down his face Castle sat leaning over Beckett.<p>

"Kate stay with me! Kate I love you! Stay with me!"

She smiled and then passed out.

"No! Hey anyone call 911… fast!" Castle screamed into the crowd.

Some of them screaming and crying, some of them shocked about what just had happened. Roy's family stood there in total shock. The youngest daughter hugged her mom sobbing. A few minutes later Kate was still unconcious and Rick panicked. Then the siren of the ambulance. Everything got hectic.

"What happened here? How is her name? Sir? Sir?"

Castle could neither breathe nor answer the parametic. He held Kates hand and tried to talk to her. Ryan came and told the medics everything they had to know then they ran back to the van and got a barrow. They asked if anyone would like to come with her to the hospital.

"Castle? You wanna go with her?" Esposito asked.

"Yea…" He stood up and followed the medics into the van still holding Kates hand.

In the van the doctors tried to do everything they could to keep the blood from flooding out of her chest. They ride to the hospital seemed to take hours. Castle began to realize what just had happened.

"Will she be like she as before?" he mumbled.

"We don't know that for sure." The paramedic meant.

The driver cabled to the hopsital: " Doug, we have a woman who has been shot to the chest. Make sure that me get an operating room. We'll be there in 3 minutes."

"Got it." Some guy named Doug answered.

"Hey Kate… if anything happens to you… please stay with me. Wake up… I love you." Rick whispered.

They arrived at the hospital and it got pretty hectic again. Doctors and nurses came running to the van and pulled out the barrow. Rick followed them into the emergency room.

"What's her name and who are you?" a nurse tried to stop him but he pushed her aside.

"Hey mister stop you can't go in there she needs an operation! And we need her ID and you have to calm can wait here until the doctors finished saving her!"

Rick got angry but turned around to face the annoying woman.

"What did you want?" he tried to take a deep breath to calm down.

"Her name and your relation to her." She asked again.

"Ehm her name is Katherine Beckett… Detective Katherine Beckett. My name is Richard Castle and I'm her… emm.. I think I'm her partner." Rick tried to control his emotions.

He sat down in one of those blue chairs that were standing on the wall next to the operation room entrance. And he waited. After 23 minutes and 56 seconds Ryan, Esposito and Martha came.

"Hey bro. Do you know anything new?" Ryan asked tapping Rick on his shoulder.

"No nothing… why does that take so long?" Rick whispered.

"Richard are you alright?" Martha wanted to know. She knew her son and she knew how he cared about Beckett.

"No. Mother I am NOT alright." He stood up and walked through the room. From one side to the other side.

"Castle calm down! She will be okay! We just have to wait." Esposite tried to get through to him: "they can hurt her anymore. They have surveillance cameras on every exit of the cemetery. We will get those sons of bitches who did that to her."

That was just what Castle wanted to hear at that moment. He sat down again.

" And how are the Montgomerys?" Castle asked.

"Well… they're o-kay…. Imagine how you would feel when you husband or dad just died and right at his funeral one of his collegues of his friends gets shot while giving a speech." Ryan meant but Rick stopped listening to him after he had said " They're okay…"

He continued looking at his watch counting seconds. While they were waiting none of them said something. After 38.21 minutes Ryan stood up to get some coffee.

And after 3.25 minutes a nurse came out of the operation room her scrub all bloody and said: "Are you all waiting for Miss Beckett?"Castle stood up nodding.

"She has lost very much blood and the bullet is still in a dangerous position between two ribs. We will need some time to fix untilnow everything went good. If you want you can go home and we call you if something happens or when we finish the operation" the nurse said unemotionally.

"Okay then we go again" Ryan meant and stood up.

The others ones followed him but Castle stayed behind. "Richard why don't you come with me and get some rest at home?" Martha wanted to know.

"No, I will stay here until she wakes up. But you can go. Say Alexis that I love her and that everything will be fine again… I hope!"

"Okay… then bye kiddo and maybe you should try to get some sleep. You don't want to scare her when she wakes up. You look horrible." She said and turned to go.

Rick stayed on his chair and thought about what will happen if she doen't wake up… what if she dies in there. What if she dies and he had never told her how he felt about her? Those thoughts made him shiver and tears started to float out of his eyes again. He tried to stop them but he couldn't help it. Castle thought about his good times with Kate. He thought about them finishing each others sentences and how she frowned everytime he said something like 'ninja assassin' or 'alien abduction' and how they kissed the last time they interrogated on her mothers case. Rick remembered exactly how the kiss felt and how she looked at him before kissing him again. So shy, so beautiful. She had to feel the same way as he did. But maybe she doesn't see it or she is not ready for it yet. Then he thought about they're fight last night and how she had said that they were over.

Did she mean it? What if she doesn't want to see me if she wakes up? Castle was scared by this thought. He stood up and went into one of those bigger waiting room. He layed down on one of the couches and before he could think about anything bad again he fell asleep and dreamed of Kates face smiling at him. That was all that happened in his dream:

She smiled.


	2. Chapter 2In the hospital

-Chapter 2-

"Sir? Sir? Hey are you Richard Castle? Hey wake up! Mr. Castle!" an unknown voice said: "Hey sir!"

"What? What happened? Is she okay?" Rick mumbled half asleep.

" Everything went well. She will be her old self again in a few days or weeks." The voice answered.

It was the nurse from before. But how long before? Rick looked at his watch. He slept 3 hours?

"Are you Castle? She asked for you… I think. She said: 'Castle… Rick. You stupid, stupid jerk… why did that take you so long?' and then she fell asleep again." The nurse said with a very confused look on her face.

Castle did not know what to think about that either but he was Castle. So he should go. What he had thought before that she wouldn't want see him anymore was not real. Thank god! He had been worried sick that they really could be over. Now he was fully awake.

He stood up and asked:"Where is she?"

"Down the hall room B-196. But be quiet when you enter the room. I think she sleeps and if not she will be exhaused and maybe a bit addled because of the anesthesia." The nurse meant and before she could start a next sentense he raced down the hall and searched for the room.

Jim Beckett, Kates father came out of the room and smiled at Castle.

"Hello Richard. Thank you for beeing there for her. She is asleep but fine. I gotta go now. If she wakes up tell her that I love her!" Jim said and waved him goodbye.

"I will Jim, bye!" Rick mumbled.

He slowly opened the door. She really was asleep. He went across the room and sat down on the chair on the opposite site of her bed. Kate snored quietly. Rick had to control himself so that he doesn't start laughing at her. She looked so cute and innocent how she laid there but the infusion in her hand and the bandage around her chest destroyed the innocent picture. He really wanted to cross the room and lay down next to her to hold her and and comfort her but he didn't know if he could do that. If she would want that. So he was content with just looking at her and listening her breaths and snores.

After a few minutes his breaths were equal to hers and he nearly fell asleep again but then she said something.

"Castle… Rick… Kitten…" she said while she slept, then she smiled and tried to roll on her right side but the infusion cover didn't let her roll over.

The needle in her hand hurt when she moved and then she woke up. Finally. Rick didn't say anything. He stayed in his chair in the opposite corner of the room. He deperatly asked himself if he could touch her, if could come near her. But he stayed in his corner. Did she really say 'Kitten'? Oh man she really was confused! Castle thought. Kate looked around the room searching for someone. Then she saw him or someone.

"W-W-Who is there? Hello? Who are you? Heeey!" Kate said and sounded like she was drunk.

Castle couldn't stop beeing quiet. He had lo laugh.

"Castle?" she whipspered.

"Yea Beckett it's me. How are you?"

"Richard Edgar Castle get your ruggendly handsome ass over here! And let me look at you." She said completely fuzzy from the narcose.

"Are you okay? Should I really come over there?"

"Yes! Silly! Move it before I come and get you with my lasso… yeeehaw!" she said quietly and cloudyly.

Rick stood up and crossed the room. He stood next to her bed.

"Ah now I agnize you. I don't know why I couldn't see you in your little hiding corner. The light was… strange…" she whispered

"Castle, sit down" She beated next to her on her bed and showed him that he should sit next to her.

He sat down quietly, shyly folding his hands. Her hand grabbed his right hand and she tried to squeeze it but she was too weak.

"How are you Kate?"

"Well I'm fine. I am exhausted. Why did they have to shoot my while the funeral? My speech was so well- prepared."

"Kate you should get some sleep. You're saying strange things… kitten" he said and smiled and frowned.

"Kitten? And you say I'm talking madly? Yea sure!" she said and yawned "I think I really shoul…"

And she fell asleep again. Dormant she pulled their folded hands off his lap and on her belly. She leaned on him and started to snore again contently. Castle rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand and comforted her. He just watched her sleep again.

After a while a nurse came into the room.

"Has she been awake by now?"

"Yes, but she was totally confused"

"That's completely normal after such a long operation. But the next time she wakes up she should be normal again. Don't worry." The nurse checked the infusion and then she turned to go again.

"Castle…oh…Castle" Kate mumbled dormant: "I lve y too, Rick".

The nurse turned around again and looked at Castle frowning: "Congratulations, when you are Castle. She already said that before the operation."

She left the room. Rick smiled and laid down next to her trying not to wake her up again. She sighed but did not wake up. Rick dreamed again but now there were just strange pictures and colours.

Nothing real.


	3. Chapter 3The interrogation

-Chapter 3-

The next morning 5:30am at the 12th everything was different. Ryan and Esposito didn't really know what to do without the captain and without Beckett and so they went back to the cemetary to look for anything that could lead them to the shooter.

"What do we have, bro?" Esposito asked.

"Well nothing really. We should check the surveillance videos from yesterday. The shooter has to be the boss of the whole arrangement or he had already hired another contract killer because Roy killed the known rest of them." Ryan reasoned.

So they went to the surveillance office and got the videos. Then the rolled back to the precinct. The flags in front of the building were on half-mast because of Roy Mongomerys death. The athmosphere at the precinct was depressing.

"Yo! I think I found something" Ryan exclaimed.

Esposito came over to Ryans desk and looked at the computer.

"At 2:16 pm Beckett started her speech and right before that at 2:05 pm someone suspicious entered the south entry of the cemetary. Look who doesn't expect surveillance cams at a cemetary." Ryan said smugly.

"Who is that?" Esposito asked.

"I don't know that YET. BUT it has to be the shooter and we can even see his car… or not… he came with a bus but we can zoom in on his face and show the picture every single busdriver in New York City."

"Wooow and how should a busdriver recognize and ID someone who drove with his bus once?" Esposito doubted.

"You pessimist! Maybe he took this bus more than once and maybe he owns a seven-day ticket or something. At least we have something to start the interrogation with." Ryan said: "C'mon let's make little roadtrip!"

He printed out the picture of the shooter who wore a black jacket with a huge hood which made it harder to recognize him but they took their chance and went to the bus company.

"Hello Sir. I'm Detective Javier Esposito and that's my partner Detective Kevin Ryan NYPD. We are here to talk to the busdriver who stopped next to the New Montfiore Cemetary yesterday at 2or 2:05pm."

"Ehm okay what happened? Did he steal something from one of the costumers again? Oh I will fire that guy right now!"

"Hey calm down Mister…"

"McKrindle"

"Okay Mr. McKrindle it's okay. Nothing was stolen but we need the name of the driver and we have to talk to him. What was his name?" Ryan asked.

"His name is ehm I don't know his last name but his first name is John. He didn't show up here today. He lives at the Archstone East 39th in a big building. A nice loft. I have no idea how he can afford that. He is a bus driver… well maybe he has rich parents. Like my cousin Jim. His family had a little farm and now he…"

"Okay Mr. McKrindle we have to hurry. Sorry maybe next time." Esposito said trying not to piss him off.

"Well if you wanna miss this story… okay! Bye!"

Ryan and Esposito went across the whole city and enterd the huge building. At the lobby they asked for someone named John and the portier lead them to loft number 4 and then left them alone.

"John! Open up! NYPD we have to talk to you!" Ryan yelled knocking at the door.

Noone answered so they opened the door without permission. They entered a huge room.

"Hey! NYPD nobody move!" Ryan screamed but they came to late.

A young man probably John laid on the sofa murdered. At least he didn't have to suffer. There was one clear shot to the chest and one between his eyes. This had to have been someone with expert-knowhow.

"Dammit!" Esposito cursed and then he called Lanie to examine the body.


	4. Chapter 4Still in hospital :

-Chapter 4-

Castle and Beckett didn't know anything of that. At 9 am a nurse came in and checked on Beckett. They talked very quietly because they didn't want to wake up Castle, who was sleeping like a baby next to Beckett. When the nurse left the room Beckett looked at their hands on her belly. Just like they fell asleep. She totally forgot everything that happened last night when she woke up she had been shocked by the fact that Castle lay beside her. But if she was honest to herself she enjoyed it. Really, but it felt a little strange.

At the moment when she thought that Castle tried to turn on his left side but the bed was too small so he fell out of the bed and screamed.

"What? Where? Ouch!" he said rubbing his head and stood up.

Kate laughed although laughing hurt her.

"Ehm you're in the Presbyterian Hospital in New York and you just fell out of my bed. And by the way my name is Katherine Beckett." She whispered the last words.

"Ah now I remember everything but I have no idea who you are… hm strange I think I am in the wrong room… I wanted to visit my sweetheart from highschool. Sorry. Bye." Castle stood up and went to the door.

"Hey are you out of your mind?" Kate said and frowned "I remember other words coming out of your mouth. Like Kate stay with me!"

"Oh You are Kate? Sorry I thought you were blonde! Strange…" he turned back to her and smiled.

"Silly Kitten! Come here to me"

He stood next to her bed and she took his hand again. He frowned. Did she really do that?

"You are fully concious now right?"

"Yep! Rick stop treating me like a drunk!"

He led their hands to her face and softly rubbed her cheek.

"Hey." He whispered.

"Hey yourself!" she answered.

"You look like... you just slept. Looks hot!" Kate said and smiled at him.

"What has gotten into you?" he still doubted her conciousness.

"Nothing really… maybe a bullet."

"Awww. Beckett don't make fun of that. I was worried sick. I thought I would loose you" he said quietly.

"Yea I remember everything you said yesterday after the shot. Everything!" She blushed and looked at their hands.

"Oh you mean that… and I heard you saying nearly the same thing but it came out a bit fuzzy. I wasn't sure if you really meant it or not." He said and blushed, too.

"Come down here" he held his face near hers. She whispered in his ear: "I definitely meant it! And I am sure that I should have said that years ago… but… I don't know how that should work between us."

"Me neither maybe we should just jump into the cold water… together." He said smiling and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

"Kate…"

"What, Castle… Kitten?" she grinned.

"Your dad was here yesterday. He said that I should tell you that he loves you!" he said.

"Thank you!"

"And you know what?"

"What?"

"I love you too."

Kate smiled she had to hold back tears: "Thank you Castle!"

"Anytime" He was a bit confused by her answer but he didn't mind her not saying 'I love you', maybe she wasn't ready for that yet.

Then suddenly she grabbed his shirt and pulled him near her. Their faces were only a few inches away from each other and then she said: "I love you Richard Castle!"

Then he sat down next to her and kissed her gently because he didn't want to hurt her but she pulled him very close to her and kissed him more forcible. When they stopped, each of them had to catch their breaths again before they could go on talking. In a moment of silence Castles phone rang. It was Alexis. He looked at her.

"Answer it. And then go home. How long have you been here? A day? You should really take a shower" she grinned "I will be just fine here. I heard the food in here is awesome."

He kissed her cheek and awsered the call.

_"Hey dad! Is she okay?"_

"Yes honey she is fine and thanks for asking… I am okay too! "

_"Dad don't be like that!"_

"Alexis, Beckett and me just talked about everything and I think I should let her get some sleep now. I will be at home in 20 minutes. I promise."

_"Can I talk to Kate, dad?"_

"Yea sure." He was a bit confused but he passed his phone to Beckett who frowned as well.

"Hellooo?"

_" Hey Kate. Wow it is so good to hear that you're okay! Grams told me that dad freaked yesterday and then I thought that it has to be bad… he yelled at her… Well it doesn't matter. If he annoys you just throw him outta there!"_

" Oh Alexis You're sweet. But I don't think that I will be annoyed by him anytime!" Beckett said smiling at Castle rubbing his cheek with their folded hands.

_"O-kaaay… well he said that he will tell me EVERYTHING when he comes home so I won't ask you now!"_

"Bye Alexis" Kate said and hung up. "That is gonna be so embarrasing" Kate mumbled.

"Hey! They all knew how we felt for years… so I don't think that it could get very embarassing!"

"OMG I have to break up with Josh!"

Castle frowned: "yeah… right … motorcycle boy", Kate cleared her throat. " I know… doctor motorcycleboy.."

"Don't be mean. He was nice. A great kisser." She grinned at him.

"Oh yea… really?"

"Show me that you can do better than him!"

He got onto the bed and kneed over her belly. One knee one her right and one on her left side and then he bent down and kissed her. They had to pause to catch their breaths and as they continued kissing the door opened and a doctor came in. They looked at him.

" Could you please go out and then come in again in 5 minutes, doc?" Castle asked .

The doctor looked a bit confused but he left the room without saying another word.

"Castle that was embarrassing… big time!" she wanted to hit him but moving quick hasn't been a very good idea.

A sharp pain came from her chest.

"ouuuuch"

"Hey sorry." He stood up: "Doctor come in here fast! I know that you're still there!" he screamed in panic.

The doctor came in running to Beckett.

Before he could reach her bed she said: " Hey I am fine. I only moved too quick. Could you please be so kind and wait outside until this man leaves the room."

"Are you sure Detective?"

"Positive"

He left again. And Beckett looked into Castles eyes.

"Before you leave could you please tell me what that was?"

"Hey. I care about you a lot! And I thought that I hurt you… and I knew there was a doctor lurking in front of the door. So I called him."

"Okay! Well now you really have to leave but come back here so that I don't have to miss you!"

"Don't forget to talk to Josh. I am not going to apport you with anyone!" He kissed her again gently and softly and then he left the room saying 'I love you' without a tone. He just moved his lips but she understood.

Castle left her room.


	5. Chapter 5Everyones thoughts

-Chapter 5-

Castle arrived at home but he was 15 minutes later than he promised to be home.

"Dad! What took you so long? You know there is a murderer out there and you were with Beckett and he is after her and-" Alexis ran to him yelling as he opened the door.

"Hey sweetie! I am totally fine and I'm sorry. The doctor had to check her first." Castle lied.

"Yea right and you have to stay for protecting her from the bad, bad doctor… Okay… Well I was worried sick and now I'm hungry!"

"Okay what do ya want? Maybe a nice and hot Richard Castle special pizza 'Rickey's smokin' hot pizza'?", he asked acting like he was a real chef.

"If that's eatable. Okay! Sure. I call Ashley now and then we eat and TALK!" Alexis said running into her room.

Rick went into the kitchen and prepared the pizza and thought about what had just happened.

'Why didn't we talk before? That really was easier than I thought it would be. Can this relationship succeed? How can I go on shadowing her?

There's so much we have to talk about… tomorrow' he thought and stated being there for his daughter completely.

While they were eating their pizza, which really was eatable, they talked but Castle did not mention that they kissed… he only said that they had talked and that they get along again. She forgave him. For Alexis that was enough to know and then after they finished their dinner they went into the living room and played guitar hero all night long. At 11 pm Martha came home but she was so tired from some date she had been on before that she went straight to bed.

-In the Hospital-

A few minutes after Castle had left the doctor came into the room to check her again and everything was okay but she had to stay in bed for a little time.

"Can't I go to work again?" Kate asked desperately.

"Mrs. Beckett you are a detective, right? And just nearly died yesterday, right?" the doctor meant.

"Paperwork? Please?" Kate begged.

"I'm sorry but you have to stay here for at least three more days and then you can go home but I think working is too much stress right now. Maybe you need to take a little vacation. Get away from everything. Relax a bit and you will see that your wounds will be healed when you come back and then the bad guys of New York have to be scared again." The doc said and smiled.

He reminded her a bit of Josh and that made her thinking: 'How should I tell him that now I want to be together with Castle… before he had left to Haiti he asked me if he would have to be worried about her and Castle and she ensured him that there was no reason to worry about.'

"Okay Doctor Simmons. Now I will get some sleep. I'm tired."

"Goodnight Mrs. Beckett and please relax. The bad guys are not after you. Thank god! And the other cops can take care of the other ones." He said and left the room.

Kate panicked: 'Oh no? I think they are after me… What if one of them comes here and kills me in my sleep? I am not armed... damn it! No.. it's well protected here… okay Kate, calm down nothing will happen to you. Ryan and Esposito are on it. And the doctor told me to relax and the more I relax now, the sooner I will get outta here and catch those sons of bitches.'

Kate thought and was confused by the thought that she had just talked to herself.

Kate tried to stop thinking of the shooter and her thoughts flipped to the experiences of the afternoon. 'Finally. But do I really love him? I think so. But I have to find that out by myself in the next few days or weeks or hopefully lifetime. I already miss him. It has to be love. Maybe he was right when he said that I dated men I didn't love because I was scared to admit to myself how I really felt about him and because of that I had to distract myself of those feelings and emotions by making out with guys like Josh who I like but nothing more.'

After she thought about that she felt horrible because of what she was doing to Josh. Kate pulled her phone out of a drawer and dialed his number.

"Hello this is Josh. I am not available right now. Probably I am treating one of my patient at the moment so if it's necessary leave your message after the tone" the phone said after the second beep tone.

_*Beep*_

"Ehm… hey Josh. It's Kate. Oh man I really didn't want to do that on the phone and now I even have to talk to answering machine… okay doesn't matter. I have to say this now and not tomorrow or when you come back to New York. Josh I am really, really sorry but it is over. Yesterday I have been shot and I think if you really were my boyfriend you should know that by now. I nearly died and you are in Haiti… well okay. If I am honest that is not the whole reason why I have to break up… it's Castle. I-"

"We're sorry but the memory chip is full. We can't take another message on our memory. But try to call back later." The machine said.

Kate was partly so mad at the machine and Josh that she wanted to throw her phone through the room but partly she was relieved that Josh doesn't got to know the whole story so she didn't throw her phone against the wall.

Kate got tired and then she wrote a quick text message to Castle

_Okay I talked to him…kinda. I will tell you the whole story when we meet again._

_Goodnight Kitten! I love you… I think! : ) XOXO Kate_


	6. Chapter 6Interrogation&hospital

-Chapter 6-

At the loft of this dead guy named John everyone did their jobs. Lanie examined the body and some uniforms, Ryan and Esposito were looking through all the closets and drawers of the apartment. There was nothing that could lead to the name of the bus driver so they hoped that his fingerprints were in the system.

"Dammit. Nothing. This apartment looks like he moved in here yesterday." Esposito exclaimed.

"Lanie what do you have?"

"Well, single shot to the chest but I guess the COD was the shot to the head. The first shot missed the heart so he should have survived that but the next one killed him. I can't find any signs of struggle. Really guys sorry but I can't find out any more details until I bring him back to the morgue."

"Oh man! Beckett is gonna kill us! Five minutes ago she asked if we had something. But no… we have nothing!" Ryan said looking at his cell.

"Well then" Esposito said to one of the uniforms while he stood up:"get CSU sweep the area and you all go aroung this place and ask everyone who might have known this guy. We can't let Beckett down. Ryan, let's go and visit Beckett."

Ryan and Esposito left the loft but before he stepped out of the front door Esposito went back to Lanie, kissed her cheek and said :

"Ciao. Chica"

-In the hospital

Ryan knocked at her door.

"NYPD open the damn door!" Ryan yelled and then opened the door.

Kate held up her hands, grinned and said:"Guilty!"

All three laughed for a few minutes until Kate stopped laughing and asked completely serious:" Do you have something?"

"Not really… We know that the shooter can at the cemetary with the bus" Esposito meant.

"So now you should interview the driver?" Beckett partly asked.

"We did his name is John and he is…" Ryan said.

Kate interrupted him:" Does he recognize the guy am I safe again… What is his name is he the leader of the group?"

"- dead… I wanted to say dead." Ryan ended his sentence.

"Awwww. Dammit. Do you know his last name?" Kate wanted to know.

"Nope but Lanie is examining him right now and we hope that he is in the system… something was not right about this guy. He was a bus driver and lived in a huge loft. I mean how the heck can a bus driver afford something like that?" Esposito said.

"Okay, well you guys go home and sleep a while. I mean this guy is dead and for now we have nothing to work with but when I come outta here we will get this guy. Tomorrow you can go and visit Lanie and maybe you could go to Roy's family and ask if you can look through his office. Try to find some files from the time when Roy was with those guys." Kate said:" And you two… don't mention any of this to Roy's wife or kids."

"Sure we won't. So… how are you Beckett?"

"Hm… Fine but I can't move very quickly and I am afraid that it could take weeks until I can work again. Damn it!" she cursed.

"Relax. You have time. Please just get well soon and hey Becks… has Castle been here since you woke up?" Esposito asked while he was heading towards the door.

"Oh Castle…" Kate whispered dreaming of him.

"Kate? You alright? What did you just say?" Ryan asked.

"What? Oh nothing." Kate blushed: "Yes he had been here but not really for a long time then he left again."

"Okay… well then goodnight and get well soon." Ryan said and Esposito waved her goodbye then they left the room.

Kate fell asleep and someone knocked at her door. A few seconds later Castle came into the room and crosed the room trying not to wake her up. He sat down in the chair next to her bed. He really tried not to touch her and not to move and to be quiet and let her sleep but then something flew into her nose and he sneezed very, very loudly. Kate nearly fell out of her bed.

"Wow Castle! You scared… you scared… you… "

Then she stared to sob and at the same time laugh at herself because she was crying.

"Oh Kate… Sorry something… my nose… oh man I really wanted you to get some sleep… wait… are you crying?"

"Yes… but forget that… sometimes I cry when I wake up and sometimes I cry when something scares me just like you did…" She looked at him frowning:" And now those two things came together… I know it's silly but I can't help myself."

By that time she stopped crying.

"Thank god. I thought that something hurt you. And no it's not silly… I think it's kinda cute." Rick said and took her hand as if that was completely normal.

Kate looked at their hands and smiled.

"Thank you! I nearly forgot how that felt. Holding your hand…" Kate said.

Castle kissed her forehead. "How are you?"

"Tired but fine. They say that I could go home tomorrow if I promise to relax and not to work… Castle they don't even let me do paperwork…What should I do the next weeks?"

She really was desperate.

"Come to me… or with me. I want to go to the Hamptons again and write a little and you could relax there and go swimming and those things. Alexis will be at Ashley's for three weeks and my mother has a new job. I would be so alone at home and you can't work so I can't shadow you and then I thought that I could go to the Hamptons… if you wanna join me…" Castle said.

"And the interrogation?"

"We can arrange a video conference every evening and if something important happens we can be back here within some hours… just think about it Kate I don't want to push you. And now you should get some sleep I will be back here tomorrow morning and I want you to be completely awake and relaxed then." He said and kissed her gently.

"Okay goodnight Rick. And I will think about it" Kate said as he went through the room towards the door.

"Night!"

"Night, Kitten!" she grinned and fell asleep again with a smile on her face.


	7. Chapter 7the elevator moment

-Chapter 7-

The next morning Richard went to see Kate again. He walked trough the hall of the hospital and headed to Kate's room. He opened the door but the room was empty. The bed was clean and someone put new bedclothes on it. Castle panicked.

'Where is she? Do they have to operate on her again? Oh no, what if the wound started bleeding again?' Rick thought.

He got nervous and ran towards the helpdesk.

"I'm sorry but where is Katherine Beckett? Her room was number B-196. She had been here yesterday. Did they have to operate again?" Castle asked a nurse.

"Mr.….-"

"Castle. Richard Castle.", he helped her out.

"Oh- my- god! You-are-THE-Richard-Castle? The novelist?" the nurse hyperventilated.

"Ehm. Yea. I am Richard Castle the novelist. I will give you an autograph later but my question was:' where is Katherine Beckett from room B-196?' I have to know that right now!", Rick said nearly impolite.

The nurse looked shocked and still fuzzy because of seeing Rick.

"Wait Mr. Castle. I have to look. Katherine Beckett… Kate. Isn't she Nikki Heat? What happened to her? Is it bad? Oh my goodness!" the nurse said looking trough patient files.

"Could you pleeease hurry up?" Rick pushed.

"Yes. Okay, Mrs.…" she cleared her throat:" Detective Katherine Beckett left the hospital half an hour ago."

"What? Why didn't she call me? Okay doesn't matter I will visit her at home but now not that I forget… your autograph." He said and signed Kate's patient file.

Then Castle left trough the east wing exit of the Presbyterian.

'What was she thinking? Someone could still be after her. How did she even get home? Did she write me a message?'

He looked at his cell and BAM said the lady there were 25 text messages and 10 calls. His phone was on silent mode because of the interview with the New York Times he had been on before he went to see her. 'Oh I am so stupid. I really have to learn to check my cell from time to time…' he thought.

Castle stepped into the sunlight and there she was with a big packed bag lying in front of her. Kate looked pissed but beautiful how she was standing there waiting in the sunlight of a regular NYC morning.

"Kate. I am sooo very sorry. I had been at an interview before and my cell was on silent mode and I haven't seen your calls." Castle apologized.

"And text messages…25 messages. Could you please learn to check your phone from time to time?" she said, still mad.

"You know I have thought the exact same thing a few seconds before. Wow it is magic." He said.

"You know how I think about magic and unicorns and aliens and Santa Clause." She doubted.

"Each of them is a coincidence yes I know. But if you don't believe in those kinds of things then think that there is a special telepathic power between people that are close to each other." Castle mumbled and looked at her innocently.

"You know… you always find the right words to calm me down and now bring me home for gods sakes!" she said smiling at him.

"Alright detective! I will. May I?" he took her bag and with the other hand he took her hand but she pulled her hand back.

"No Rick. We first have to talk about if we are a real couple or not before someone sees us in public." She explained.

"Okay… alright but we will catch up later. Wanna go straight home or come to my place?"

"Ehm… is Alexis or your mother at home?" she asked shyly.

"Alexis is in school for another 4 hours and my mother is working. She has a part in a new Broadway drama."

"Oh that's great for her. Okay then lets go to your place but I demand a big, huge Richard Castle breakfast with pancakes and omelet's! The meals in there were not that good after all and I want to eat something good again! Finally!" She said touching her belly.

They went to his Ferrari and Kate remembered how it felt driving this car.

"Can I drive? Please? I love your car and like every time… I am the predestinated driver in our relationship!" Kate meant grinning at him and Castle handed her the keys.

It was a really exciting drive back to Castle's place. Kate was lost in thoughts while she was racing through New York. At his place he got out of the car, ran to her side and opened the door for her.

"Oh, Richard you gentleman! I didn't know that side of you"

"Well there are many sides of me that you don't know yet. But I hope that you will get to know these sides in the next few weeks. Maybe in the Hamptons. But I don't want to push you to a quick decision. You have plenty of time." He said as her opened the front door.

Then they stepped into the elevator and stood there quietly until the doors closed. When the door was closed Rick dropped the bag and hugged her dearly. Rick smelled the familiar smelt of her hair.

'Like every time. Nothing has changed' Rick thought for a brief moment.

"I am so happy to have you here with me in my arms, Kate. I was really really scared that something might happen to you, that I might loose you. What Alexis told you yesterday on the phone was true. I yelled at my mother because I had been so stressed. It was like being in a small room and the walls keep coming nearer to you. I felt trapped inside fear and anger and desperation. Really, Kate I am so very happy to have you here and that we talked about our feelings and that we are trying to figure these feelings out together. I love you!" he whispered in her ear.

Kate was speechless. At this moment she was so indescribably happy that there were no words that would have fit into this special situation. So she did what her body told her to do and kissed him gently.

Playfully she bit his earlap and whispered: "I love you, too Richard Castle. And I think I loved you since the first day I saw your face at your book party three years ago. Although you are a bit cocky from time to time…" -he cleared his throat- "...But those little thing make me love you even more and now… Let's get breakfast, fast!" she said and kissed him a last time before heading towards his loft.

Rick couldn't move. He could only look at her and be the happiest man on the whole earth. She turned around and wondered why he wasn't next to her unlocking the door.

They smiled at each other and then finally he got out of the elevator and unlocked the door to his loft.

"Welcome home Detective Beckett!"


	8. Chapter 8Breakfast and breakdown

-Chapter 8-

"Ms. Beckett please take a seat. Your meal will be at your table in a few minutes. Do you wait for someone or do you want to eat alone?," Castle asked with a british accent and acted like he was a waiter.

Kate raised one eyebrow and then decided to play this one with him:" Okay waiter and please could you bring me a glass of you finest champagne? And a bunch of grapes…"

"Alright I will be back in a moment." He said and turned towards the kitchen.

"Hey waiter…!"

Castle turned around again.

"Please. I want to have someone to feed me with those grapes."

Now it was Castles turn to raise an eyebrow, then he shook his head and continued his walk to the kitchen where he started to prepare a huge breakfast.

After about three mintues Kate got bored and stood up to walk around the loft. She looked at old photographs which she noticed the first time altough she had been here so many times. On the couch table there was a little picture of Castle holding baby Alexis in his arms. Kate looked at this one and thought about how Alexis will take the relationship between her and Castle when there even is one and if her relationship to Alexis will be the same as it had been before all that.

Kate couldn't stop staring at this picture and then Roy came to her mind. His family lost everything. There had to be such photos in Mongomery's house, too and now one very impotant part of the family was gone… forever. In the last few days Kate had been so concentrated on herself that she nearly forgot about all the things that had happened before she had been shot.

All those repressed emotion came back to her and she had to sit on the couch to catch her breath again. Tears rolled down her face.

Castle came out of the kitchen and placed all the things at the breakfast table. Then he noticed that something was missing… Kate… but where was she? Castle walked around in his loft and found her curled up on his couch crying. He sat down next to her and hugged her.

"Hey Kate what is the matter with you? Do your wounds hurt? Did I do anything wrong?" He whispered.

"No not you… I looked at the picture" she pointed at the picture, "And then I thought about how or if Roy's family can take that. I know exactly how it feels to loose a parent and how it is when you look at old pictures where those people… loved people are smiling into the camera. You remember how it was to take this photo. The good, content atmosphere while it was taken… and now those loved people are gone. Forever!" she said and rested her head on his chest.

Castle stroked her hair. He didn't know what to say but he tried it.

"Hey it's okay. You know when someone dies your whole world falls apart but you have to build it up again and live. If the dead person really loved you, why wouldn't she want you to live again. She will always be watching over you and I think she is happy when you are happy" he couldn't stop himself from projecting all of this to Beckett and her mother.

'She really had to live again and enjoy her life. Her mother would want her to and I have to help her living it. I will help her!' Castle thought.

"Hey Kate they will be fine. Yes they mourn and it will hurt them to think about Roy but they, too, have to live again one day."

"You're right. And I really was okay until I looked at the picture. All the emotions floated back into me and I couldn't help it. Sorry. Wanna grab some food now?" she said and tried to smile.

"Yes!" he helped her up and arm in arm they went to the table.

He made enough food to fill about ten stomachs.

"You know that you are crazy, right?" she said looking at the food.

"Nope and I will never admit that to myself." Rick said and lead her to the chair.

He took a seat right next to her.

"Buon appetito!" he said now with an italian accent.

After they finished their meal Kate rubbed her belly and said: "From now on you are my private chef, okay?"

"Anytime! And now some grapes... I haven't forgot, please remember that later, Missy!"

He took the whole bunch of grapes and held it over Beckett's head. She reached out and ate one.

"Thank you but the first one has to be the last one because I don't want to burst and send your nice apartment into a big mess. " Kate said and grinned at him.

"Okay, well, what now?" he said.

"Can I maybe take a shower? Or a bath? I miss taking bubblebaths. Normally I do that nearly every night after I come back home from work."

"Alright I show you the bathroom and the towels and everything?"

She raised an eyebrow and meant: "I think I can handle that and you can clean up the kitchen and then we do something fun?"

"Okay dokay! You know fun is my second name!" he said playfully.

"I thought that your second name is Edgar… or Alexander?" she said and couldn't stop herself from laughing.

"Heeey! I left this gruesome name behind me…"

"No, not grusome. Do you remember that girl whose mother the psychic got killed. The one who had been stuffed in the sofa?"

"Yeah…Vivien Marchard I remember.. didn't she have a daughter who had dreams about you?" Rick asked confusedly.

"Penny Marchard. She said the some special man named Alexander will come to my life and mean very much to me", she said and looked and him waiting for him understanding everything.

She literally heard it make "Click" in his head and then he screamed: "And I am Alexander! Woow. You know there is kind of magic in this!" he said comppletely wrapped up in his happiness about this not-coincidence he just heard of.

"See! Not a coincedence! Alexander that's me! Wuaaaaow!"

Kate shook her head:" Oh yeah and you mean soooo much to me?" she looked at him doubtfully and he looked back at her very offendedly, then she said tipping with her forfonger on his chest: "Coincidence! Although you really do mean much to me!" she grinned.

"Will I ever be able to convince you to believe in magic and those things?" he asked sadly.

"Nope. I don't think so.. and now I get into the tub." She went to go, turned around again, kissed him on his forehead and then left him standing next to the table looking like a puppy which just fell into a bathtub.

Kate still laughed at him as she opened the bathroom door.


End file.
